Althea's World

Hiatus

2011-04-10T14:14:00.000+10:00

Hiatus is over! It has been a while. I'd say not much has happened, of late, but that isn't true. Germany happened. Chemistry happened. And I'd like to think that I'm a touch more grown-up. Or maybe not.

Just a few likes for now:

thebrowser.com What to read, when I don't have time
Limes
Waffles and chocolate licks at Max Brenner

Althea's Travels

2009-12-25T18:36:00.000+11:00

We're going traveling! I have a new blog here. That you can see it here, means that you're special enough to know about this blog. In other words, this is a one way link, with no link from my travel chronicles to this one here.

I'm flying out tomorrow, which means a little bit of intensive packing and organising tonight. I'm not one for doing things before deadlines. But that is me. And my style.

Going to be good!

It's time.

2009-10-09T23:57:00.003+11:00

Exactly four weeks ago, I stopped having chocolate. In that time, my skin has cleared up fantastically, so it is a bit of a myth that chocolate doesn't affect things like that. Point is, I can do it, it does have benefits and I feel better for it. But it's chocolate.

I'm going to have chocolate tomorrow. After that, we'll see.

No chocolate again

2009-09-28T17:16:00.004+10:00

Approximately two weeks ago, I stopped having chocolate. This was just after having the chocolate degustation at Guylian. It has worked, because I haven't wanted to have chocolate. This self-imposed exile from the Land of Chocolate will last for at least another two weeks. I must admit I do feel somewhat healthier. No real cravings either. We'll have to see how it goes.

Chocolate

2009-09-01T23:00:00.000+10:00

I gave up. It probably wasn't the right time to try. Maybe next time!

Or maybe not.

Anti-chocolate update

2009-08-25T23:00:00.001+10:00

It hasn't gone so well. I planned to start on Monday, but baked goods are special and needed to be sampled. Same for today.

Trying again tomorrow.

Anti-chocolate

2009-08-23T13:35:00.001+10:00

I'm giving up chocolate, temporarily. Maybe until my birthday. It's that time of year again.

I think I'll start tomorrow.

On complaining

2009-07-19T23:33:00.002+10:00

I've just read the Sunday magazine in one of the Sunday papers and there is an interesting article on complaining. The author writes about trying not to complain about things for 21 days. Apparently there have been wristbands made, such that you have to swap which wrist it's on, every time you complain. While you can complain about things that are genuinely complaint-worthy, it is the little things that aren't allowed.

Like complaining about trains, how they are late, how they have too many people on them, and so on. Complaining about other people, possibly categorised as gossip is also in the not-allowed basket. I know a fair few people would find this difficult. I know I'd find it difficult, to some extent, because I do complain at times. But I do notice that I do, because I see it other people and the idea that I don't like it in other people reflects on me.

I think I'd put "talking unnecessarily" into all of this too. There are some things in life that don't require comment. Like the traffic, for instant. Yes, there is a traffic jam. Yes, that is a big truck. No, that person can't drive very well. It's all noise pollution to me, at times. I'm complaining, just by saying that.

I find that I do think about what I say more, these days. If what I'm saying is unlikely to change anything, or is not informative, then it's probably best not to say it.

Incoming!

2009-07-14T21:25:00.002+10:00

I'm sure Stace will read this at some point. Bit difficult when you're in labour, I think. The world is going to have another little one. Maybe it has already happened. Either way, best for it all.

Getting married

2009-07-05T15:57:00.003+10:00

I've decided that I'm going to marry my PhD. In other words, I'm off the market for anything much. After another three years, this marriage will run its course and we will both apply for divorce, dissolution of the marriage, or whatever it happens to be called. And we will go our merry ways. I'm not sure who will get what at the end of those years. It won't be an even split. Being ever ambitious, I'm hoping I'll get the better end of the deal.

At the moment, I'm doing most of the work in the relationship, but that's fine. It's rare that things will be equally split.

It's hard to be motivated when it's so cold. I think I've finally acclimatised to winter, but I can't say I'm loving it. My brain seems to shut down when it's cold, so it doesn't bode well for my chemistry. I'm looking towards the warmer days and weeks. And months.

Doing more

2009-06-13T23:10:00.002+10:00

It seems as if the older I get, the more I realise that I have to do stuff with my life, otherwise it will pass me by. I'm less content with little things; quality is what counts.

I've been playing the piano for nearly 20 years now and I can honestly say that it is something that I love to do. Other things like flute and trumpet have been fun, but they just don't do it for me. There is something special about being able to play more than one note at a time, more than one line at a time. Anything less is not much fun.

So I've decided to learn the organ. Pipe organ. Not mouth organ. I have a good teacher, a practice organ, so I think I'm all ready. I don't know how I'm going to co-ordinate my feet into the mix, so we'll have to see.

The noise

2009-05-27T20:05:00.002+10:00

Sometimes, the world is a very noisy place. These past few days, the world has been noisy enough that I want to go away and find some peace and quiet. Not just outside, but inside as well.

Too many people talking, saying unnecessary things, redundant phrases, things like that. Makes my ears hurt and my head hurt. I don't understand why people often find the need to just talk and say things. Is it not easier and more energy-efficient to only speak when necessary? It would cut down on the noise pollution of the world.

I just want the world to be quiet for a bit.

We have a seedling

2009-04-26T11:02:00.010+10:00

The past eight weeks or so have been amazing. As much as I hate the word "soulmate" there doesn't seem to be anything else that describes...this. I'm being cautious, but at the same time, throwing caution to the wind because sometimes, it's just meant to be. Or at the very least, it feels as if "this" is drawing us in.

There is the music (all the Beethoven and none of the Mozart), the hi-fi (me to listen, him to fix), the food, the chocolate (quality counts) and the inherent knowledge that we're heading in the same direction with no timeline. I didn't know exactly what I wanted, but this seems to be it.

The seeds have been sown.

And so it is

2009-04-18T11:29:00.002+10:00

Just letting it all go now. I haven't been this carefree in a while. There is a little reluctance, but it's for the best. I can't do any more than I have and I can't wait any longer. I've decided I don't like being ignored and I don't like being priority number 10. I don't feel guilty and I don't feel remorseful.

And so it is.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-13T20:25:00.002+11:00

It's Valentine's Day again tomorrow. On a Saturday for once. I don't mind Valentine's Day. Neither like nor dislike it. I've spent quite a few alone, quite a few attached, some attached yet alone, so I think I've had my fair share of situations.

I'm not going to do anything this year. I'm happily unattached, happily single, yet not available, which is a strange predicament. For a long time, I thought it was more of a dichotomy. You were either single and available, or not single and not available.

Point is, I have people that love me, in different ways. Some more than others. And if anything, Valentine's Day came early for me, a few weeks ago. I fail to see the need to buy into (literally) the commercial part of Valentine's Day, but on a day like this, maybe it isn't the point. I'm not afraid to admit that I love being given flowers, if only just for the gesture that it brings. Expense can be spared. But to be told that flowers are for me, just because "I thought you should have them", is enough to make me smile like a girl.

It is a happy place, loving and being loved.

A tribute

2009-01-17T14:23:00.008+11:00

To the person in my life, who worries about me more than I could ask for.

This has been a very trying week, in and out of my doctor's office. Getting scans done and waiting anxiously for the results (note to self: angiograms are horrible) was quite stressful. The reason for all of this was because I "couldn't breathe". Not properly, anyway. So prior to all of this, I was in and out of the doctor's office. Thank you for convincing me that things like "stress" and "anxiety" can happen to someone like me, and that it is actually normal.

Thank you for reassuring me and making sure that I've been OK every step of the way, for being so positive and there. I'm sorry I cast a cloud over your birthday this year; I don't think any amount of chocolate can make up for that.

You know by now that in sleep, I am capable of sending messages, but the coherence of said messages cannot be guaranteed. You deserve more than that and I'm sorry I didn't manage to talk you through a tough moment.

And so this brings me to this afternoon. I've spent the past two days in bed, more or less, so things haven't been fantastic. Thank you for giving me your afternoon, for taking me out, for talking some sense into me. For the rose, the chocolate, the tea and the time. The Whitlams said it perfectly with "Keep the light on".

And in earlier times:

My dear people

2009-01-06T23:10:00.003+11:00

I've had the equivalent of nearly two weeks back at work, split up by Christmas and New Year. I can't say I love it. What I can confirm, is that it is the people there that make it worthwhile and that without them, it would be much more painful. From the people I work with, to the people that I work for.

And that is what life is about, really. The people.

I think I can safely say that I am lucky, because everywhere I've been, I have managed to find good people. Some better than others, some I'm more compatible with, but there have always been people.

Playing catchups

2009-01-03T21:18:00.002+11:00

Again, the beginning of another year. I'm not going to make resolutions, because I always make them. I'll probably just reiterate them. They are always ongoing, so it isn't as if the 1st of January is any more special a day.

It just means that I have to write "09" instead of "08" when I date things.

I've had a good run, of late. Holidays in Hong Kong and Shanghai (my first trip up to the mainland). Conference in Tasmania. Christmas here at home. And now back to work. Being able to go out with friends for coffee has been good. I owe so many coffees; I can now afford them, the economic crisis hasn't hit this far down the food chain. I owe so many conversation; I can afford them now, the brainspace is vacant and my schedule has amoeba-like-shifting gaps.

I'm back to loving my piano. I've been pushing myself, of late. No tears yet, but that will come.

I've caught up with a longtime friend, from Germany. We managed to date and get over each other, so we're brutally open and close. Best way to be. He's here with his German girlfriend, so I haven't had time to catch up with him alone. He is a fellow PhD student, only he has done well and moved overseas to do his stuff. Good decision for him, because Australia is a bit of a desert in terms of what he does.

And yes, another resolution is that I will write in here more often.

PhD?

2008-12-18T22:37:00.001+11:00

Reading. Writing. Playing. Sleeping.

The life of a post-graduate student?

Sunday Outings

2008-08-17T22:01:00.002+10:00

We went out for pancakes today. There were lots of us, two birthdays, good fun. While things like that are good, the satisfying part of today was the chance just to do nothing. Or whatever. Whatever it was. We ended up at the Art Gallery, sitting in the sun, more sitting in the sun and bread. I like that. I don't know how to appreciate art, but that's not the point. The only thing that could have improved today was the temperature. While the sun was out, it was a little cold.
I like being warm.

Do I sound old?

2008-08-03T17:05:00.004+10:00

I've had an extended week of being social and it has had its pros and cons. I've enjoyed it, for the most part, but yesterday, it was enough. Birthday drinks at a "classy" bar on the harbour, loud music with a physically present beat, overpriced drinks and food, but good company. As much as you can enjoy said company in a place like that.

I'm not like that. I realise more and more often now that I'm not like that and I don't care. I don't care that people want to go out and "have a good time". It's not a good time to me and I'd much prefer to be doing other things. For the sake of appearance, it's a lot of effort and I care less and less for it now.

The past six months have made me realise that I'm perfectly fine the way I am. I'm not going to settle for anything less than what I want.

Life is fantastic.

The Sydney International Piano Competition

2008-07-20T14:01:00.003+10:00

We went to see this last night. It was fantastic and I'm amazed at how people can just play like that. I can't remember the last time I saw someone play like this, live, and it makes me want more. That and it makes me want to play more myself. I've been doing that, of late, playing more. It seems to be paying off.

Anyway. The competition runs for another 2 weeks and it starts moving into more demanding things, not that this isn't demanding. I doubt I'll get to go again, but I definitely say it's worth it.

Coffee Festival

2008-07-06T22:40:00.002+10:00

A bunch of friends and I went to the Aroma Coffee Festival today. It was fantastic and it's the first time I've managed to get there. We had far too much coffee, chocolate, fudge, food and walking. We ended up walking around The Rocks, around again, all the way to the Opera House, the Botanic Gardens, then half way across the Harbour Bridge. Having had enough, it was then home-time, so more walking.

I'm still wired, probably because I've cut back on the coffee most of this year. As a result, multiple shots are having a big effect. We also ended up getting chocolate shots. The sugar and caffeine are still working.

I'm missing the point here. It was a fantastic day out with friends and that's all that really counts.

Progression

2008-07-05T23:40:00.003+10:00

I'm going to give this thing yet another go.

Life has been a little tumultuous of late, but things appear to be settling down. It seemed as if the line about raining/pouring was taken literally and to the extreme. Still, things can always be worse. I'm still smiling, so that will do.

The research is progressing and I'm enjoying it. Crazy. I'm almost ashamed to admit I like going to uni. There are other reasons, which shouldn't really factor into it, but bottom line is that I like it. I like how things move forward and change. This may be the only type of change I like. Maybe it's not change, but rather "progression".

Today was about focusing on things and getting things done. It worked. We're moving on.

Moodily Terrible - Terribly Moody

2008-03-22T11:11:00.002+11:00

It's going both ways right now. I'm in a not-so-fantastic, ie. terrible, mood. The weather isn't helping (it is grey and showery), the people aren't helping (much) and there is only so much chocolate I can have.

I will snap out of it soon, but for now, I think I might just enjoy being moody and irritable. I haven't felt like this for a while, so I'm well overdue for a something like this. I think a cup of tea and some chocolate might help.

Speaking of chocolate, the end of a bar or block or figurine of chocolate always disappears a lot faster than the beginning of it.

Insomniac Tendencies

2008-03-14T05:36:00.002+11:00

It is 5:30am and I'm awake. I certainly didn't expect to not be sleeping this early on in the year, but I'll take it as it comes. By the end of the year, I won't be sleeping at all. In a perverse way, I'm almost interested to see what it will be like by then.

Old habits die hard.

An Update!

2008-03-03T21:07:00.002+11:00

It has been a while. Again. So much has changed since my last update, so I'll have to work in order of priority.

I am now officially an Honours student in Chemistry at the University of Sydney. It has been about four weeks now, so I think I am settled. My official project title is "Synthesis of vicinal chiral diamines", but unofficially, we're looking at new ways to make Praziquantel, the drug used to treat Schistosomiasis or Bilharzia. I'm loving it in the lab. The research group is full of fantastic people. I have a fellow Honours student and we get along well, so that's important. I get into the lab around 8am most days, home time is usually after 6pm. This leaves me knackered, but I love it. Pardon the nerdiness, but I like what I do.

I think, more importantly, I have a new friend in the lab that I can depend on. I call him my lab angel because he's full of good ideas. Not only that, but we seem to be able to talk about anything and everything. It's difficult to describe. He manages to point out new ways of thinking about things. Be it chemistry, life, people, objects. It's actually quite refreshing, to borrow a phrase, to talk to someone like him. Come end of semester, I am going to miss him when he leaves.

In other news, my tonsils healed nicely. I haven't been sick since and I'm loving this new, healthy me. It just makes pushing the boundaries a little easier. It seemed that everything was related to everything else, so getting well was a little difficult. Now that they are gone, I can eat and sleep properly. I'd highly recommend getting them removed. Only if necessary of course.

My dear boy and I are going well. We do have disagreements but they are always sorted out and I'm happy with that. It just seems to be ambling along like a happy turtle. Going nowhere fast, with no particular direction. It's like we're cruising along. Lovely stuff.

My ex persisted over the last few months and I desisted. I don't think I want to be friends. At least, not now. Not after these last few months. And we all know, that the more I'm pushed to talk, the more I stay silent. Compounded by the fact that I don't want to talk anyway. I (finally) explicitly asked him to stop contacting me a week ago, only to have him send me an email. I think it's the whole control bit, must-have-last-word mentality. Either way, I'm hoping that is the end of it.

I'm loving my life right now. It has been a while since I've said it and I'm finally glad to be somewhere good.

Sans Tonsils

2007-12-17T22:44:00.000+11:00

Last week, I had my tonsils taken out. It has turned out to be one of the most painful experiences of my life and I hope that it is in fact, the most painful. I was very lucky to be seen at such short notice, and to have them stick me on the surgery list.

It has now been a week, exactly, since they were taken and I'm definitely a lot better. I've learnt a few things over the past week:

I'll never take swallowing for granted again.
Panadeine Forte is not all it is cracked up to be.
I love my parents to bits.
I hope to never require surgery again.

I'm not completely out of the woods yet. Hopefully another week.

Parents and Growing Up

2007-12-10T20:41:00.000+11:00

I'm getting a little older now, to the point where I think I can safely say that I'm an adult. I just don't think that my parents see that. Or at least, they don't seem to be going about this in a way that I'd say is wonderfully supportive.

I'm making more and more decisions on my own now. The consequences are mine to deal with. Usually. I just don't understand why they still use the silent treatment, after they say "It's your decision". They have been giving me the cold shoulder for a little while, for a few things, and it's confusing. My gut feeling is that they don't mean it and this their method of letting me know. When I was younger, it was more blatant and verbal. Now it's more subtle and less confrontational.

Maybe all parents are like that.

Short story is, I'm getting my tonsils out tomorrow. I've decided, yes, it is elective surgery. My mother doesn't think it's necessary and so she's letting me know by ignoring me. I'm not all that worried, for several reasons. She's made her point and I expect her to. I've realised that I keep seeking her approval for everything, and I need to stop doing that. I'm old enough to live my life and I will do things my way. I chose to have them removed tomorrow, because I can't afford to get sick over the next year and should they really need to come out then, it will be a very big hassle. My timeframe is very tightly wedged together and I need things to work.

Maybe she'll get over it.

Whatever happens, I'm learning to live my own life.

The Myth of "Closure"

2007-11-12T21:42:00.000+11:00

The goings on of the past few weeks have prompted this topic. I don't believe in "closure". Or at the very least, I don't believe in actively seeking it, because it doesn't exist. If only it came in little rainbow packages, clearly marked "Closure", where the packages are hidden like a scavenger hunt.

I have been asked too meet up with my ex, such that he have "closure". I'm a little surprised and extremely reluctant, because I don't see how it will achieve anything. Meeting up will just open it all back up again, which is in complete contradiction of what is wanted. That and I'm past it all. I have "closure", if you will. Secondly, the mere thought that I'm needed for said "closure" says more than words ever will.

If you need "closure" to move on, are you really ready to move on?

In Recovery

2007-11-10T19:20:00.000+11:00

I've spent the day in my room. Taking it easy is boring. I'm used to pushing myself to the limit and achieving what it is I want. Or at least, the past few years have been about that. I'm not used to resting. This forced rest has been a little trying.

I am missing the outside world a little. I'm missing spending time with my boy. I'm missing being able to get up and feeling energised. Glandular fever is so wrong. I've been sleeping an average of at least 12 hours each day. I used to live off 5 hours a night. All well and good, but I'm not waking up alive and alert, of late. My glands are twinging on and off. It is one of the weirdest feelings.

Dealing with an unrelenting ex making contact is also somewhat stressful. Any action is low on my priority list. I guess, at least the stress is momentary. I've learnt, quite easily, to let it become water off a duck's back, or however the expression goes.

On a more positive note, I have been getting a little study done. My concentration span is unbelievably short. I've always been blessed with a mind that works; I only need apply it and concentrate. Right now, it resembles cotton wool. Thick and woolly.

A brief update

2007-11-09T09:31:00.000+11:00

Too long since updates. I'm ducking the projectiles being thrown. Many things have happened since, but I'll focus on them one by one.

Biggest news is probably that singledom is no longer a part of me. My boy and I have been together for nearly four months now. It has been a beautiful four months, just like he is. He has taken every obstacle we've had, in his stride and has given me no reason not to trust him. Things are sweet.

I am two final examinations away from finishing my second undergraduate degree. It has been six (relatively short) years and I've enjoyed most of it. Next year, my Honours year, will be a year of research. I've lined up a supervisor who seems absolutely fantastic. Further work, ie. PhD, is very much possible and I think that's what he wants. I want it too, mind you. His research group has ties to Cambridge, which is even more fantastic. My life is working out.

I've had a fair bit of experience this semester in event management of sorts. Our music committee has had a bit of a disaster, with two members of our exec (president included) deciding that they didn't want any part of this. So it fell to me and this one other guy. As I'm the only one on campus, it really was just me. As fun as it was, it was a lot of work. Never again, or at least not "by myself".

I will be posting in here more often. Semester is almost complete.

I am indeed alive!

2007-06-30T14:15:00.000+10:00

I really am.

Life took over for a while. Or more correctly, uni took over. Final year of undergrad started off shakily, but I think I managed to salvage it. I wasn't anticipating such a busy semester, but I was offered yet another job (at uni) and I accepted. That took the casual employment tally up to THREE. Working three casual jobs while studying full time was insane. But it was so much fun. Being paid is also a very nice feeling.

During this semester, I also made myself a single person again. Single, as opposed to being attached. It was an interesting two-and-a-bit years. I learnt a lot.

I acquired a Siamese fighting fish. I also lost said fish, several days ago. End of an era, I guess. He was a gift from the ex.

Life is good. What more can I say? I'm happy with where I am, where I'm going and what might be.

O-Day and Uni

2007-02-24T08:47:00.000+11:00

We had O-Day this week. Short for "orientation day", where all the new first year students and everybody else comes to uni to see what it's all about, join clubs, get freebies and so on. I actually had a job to do this time. As part of the executive of the Music Society, I did a lot of running around, sitting on the stall and more running around.

This is one of the things I've grown to like about uni. You can get involved. But you have to choose to. No-one is going to make you. It took me a while to see that, but it has finally happened. It's now a matter of fitting as much as I can into life, losing as much sleep as possible, burning my candle from all ends, and so on, while I'm still (relatively) young.

Uni starts tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. It will most probably be my last year here at UTS, before I trek back down the road to Sydney Uni. Here's to another year of very little sleep, lots of paper and a bucketload more fun.

New Beginnings

2007-02-17T20:44:00.000+11:00

I'm going to start this thing again.

This is going to be my blog, as opposed to my diary. Yes, I do have one of those and good luck to you if you happen to stumble upon it and manage to understand what it is that I'm muttering about. People my age shouldn't mutter...moving on.

To me, there is a stark difference between a blog and a diary. A blog is more like a chronicle of events and occurrences, or at the very least, those that rate a mention. A diary is for self-reflection, emotional outbursts, and the like. So there you have it, what you should and should not expect from me. Then again, I run this place, it's my world.

Other reasons for starting this blog include the idea where I have a written memory of what happened in my life. I am starting the downward descent into adulthood and my memory will start to deceive me at times. That and I'd like to write more. Scientific writing is one thing, but this is a whole different ballgame.

So here we go...